SO, that said-I contacted someone from my past. More specifically someone from my first college who I've thought of off and on throughout the past 17 years. This individual was there for me at a pretty tough time in my life. When I contacted them I really wasn't sure if they would even want to talk to me. At the time we started with a pretty good friendship and then a month before the semester let out I lost it. I had a very traumatic event happen and nearly lost my life in the process. It was a very unstable time in my life and I have few memories from back then. The vivid memories I do have are the ones with this friend. This person didn't have any pretense, and at all hours of the day and night seemed to be okay with just being around when I needed. They wouldn't ask me the details of my trauma and I didn't have to be identified by it.
I transferred out of the university at the end of that particular semester. I literally do not even like to think about that time in my life except for this person.
After celebrating my 5 year anniversary with my husband recently, I thought about different people that stuck by me at traumatic events throughout my life. I've become acutely aware of the current peace in my life. At this point I've still spent the bulk of my years in trauma and abuse so living in peace is still not completely familiar. I am very thankful for those people that have come alongside me and supported me in trying times. God sent support from those who had no idea what it even meant to me at the time nor in years to come.
I said as much to this person - stating I wish I had a ton of money or some way to thank them with the immense value of their friendship during that time in my life. I'm thrilled to say this is the response I received in return, "If you're happy, then that is all a friend could ask for" - direct quote!
Did I mention it has been 17 years? God is good. He eases the trauma of the past and if I let Him - His light will shine through!
Now, all of that is awesome and good but the bigger part is still in this side of the trauma. As soon as I hit the door this evening I couldn't' wait to tell my husband about the e-mail response from this person of my past. I have worked with individuals in shelters, police interventions, group therapy, and one on one - in extreme situations which they had a hand in, as well as ones that were forced on them. In fact at one lengthy part of my career I worked really closely with offenders who had caused the same abuse that was done to me. However here I stood, in my kitchen, reclaiming a piece of the past. I looked back in happiness! This joy can really seep into so many things if given the chance to grow.
My dear sweet loving husband who has painstakenly walked through the details of social norms with someone who had them skewed on a very twisted level, is hugging me in our kitchen as I express to him how I had arrived! How God allowed me to be walking on this side of abuse. No - allowed me to be Running, breathing, singing, Living in happiness and discovering daily the immeasurable growing definition of happiness by way of the joy of the Lord on THiS Beautiful side of abuse. My husband demonstrates that in a very real way in how he loves me and stands by me daily. Today was a good day in His Loving Transformation!